So Rafael Cruz, and presumably Ted Cruz, apparently believe that White Straight Christian Men are destined by God to control the world, and they need to steal all the world’s wealth to help buy YHWH a bus pass to Earth.

It’s their Christian duty to fuck over everyone else financially because God wants White Straight Christian Men to control the world through money.

You can’t make this shit up.

And yes, if this doesn’t make any damned sense to you, having perhaps read the bible and the whole “Money is the root of all evil,” don’t be too concerned — this is Tea Party Trutherism applied to a book of Iron Age fairy tales. It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to be believable enough to con a few thousand people for a few years.

Here’s a bit of a quote by Christian Zionists Larry Huch when introducing Rafael Cruz to talk in Texas:

We’ve been doing this series here that God laid on my heart: Getting to the top and staying there. A message for us as individuals, the kingdom of God, but also for America. It’s not enough to get there. We need to stay there. It’s not a coincidence that in a few weeks, we go into what’s called in the Bible Rosh Hashanad [sic]… It will be the beginning of the spiritual year 2012. The number 12 means divine government. That God will begin to rule and reign. Not Wall Street, not Washington, God’s people and His kingdom will begin to rule and reign. I know that’s why God got Rafael’s son elected, Ted Cruz the next senator.

But here’s the exciting thing… The rabbinical teaching is… that in a few weeks begins that year 2012 and that this will begin what we call the end-time transfer of wealth. And that when these Gentiles begin to receive this blessing, they will never go back financially through the valley again. They will grow and grow and grow. It’s said this way: that God is looking at the church and everyone in it and deciding in the next three and a half years who will be his bankers. And the ones that say here I am Lord, you can trust me, we will become so blessed that we will usher in the coming of the messiah.

“Priests” and “Kings,” in this case, is codeword for “Straight White Christian Male” who, according to Cruz, have been “[anointed] as kings.”

So to pull all this logic together, God anoints priests to work in the church directly and kings to go out into the marketplace to conquer, plunder, and bring back the spoils to the church. The reason governmental regulation has to disappear from the marketplace is to make it completely available to the plunder of Christian “kings” who will accomplish the “end time transfer of wealth.” Then “God’s bankers” will usher in the “coming of the messiah.” The government is being shut down so that God’s bankers can bring Jesus back.

So the apparent theory is apparently this: God thinks SWCMs are kings, especially those who give money to the church. Doubly so if you give to Rafael Cruz’s church, mind you.

Now “Kings,” they have a christianly duty to steal all the money, because us horrible non-Kings keep stealing it from good kings, and that’s… bad.

Because after all, the “end time transfer of wealth” — the end of the world — can’t happen unless they get, well, all the wealth.

It’s a Ponzi scheme with a religious paint job. And our favorite Tea Party Cult Leader is right in the middle of it.

So just in case you thought this whole mess couldn’t get any worse — it turns out that the Cruz family might be a bunch of Christian Dominionists who believe they have to destroy the United States government in order to allow a bunch of King Priests (i.e., themselves) to squirrel away all the money to let their sky-god return.

We’re so screwed.