Jesus Hates Communist Lesbian Girl Scout Cookies, Says Conservative Pastor

Religion • October 2013 • Views: 1,607

“I’d say you ought to say no the Girl Scout cookies too. I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood and I don’t want to support abortion, and if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies. Now I suppose if you take a big, fat, black magic marker and you say, ‘give me that box,’ and you start marking out all of the references to the Girl Scouts of America on all the boxes then maybe we’re not promoting that organization anymore and I’d be willing to buy it. Maybe it’s not food offered to idols anymore if I had the opportunity to scratch out references to the Girl Scouts of America on the boxes of the Girl Scout cookies offered to me at Safeway.”

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8 comments

majii Mon, Oct 21, 2013 4:09:37pm

I find it strange that I was a girl scout for many years and can’t recall anything that was said or done that was related to lesbianism, abortion, or family planning clinics. I think this fake pastor is looking for attention and donations that he can use to help finance his lifestyle by bilking the uniformed, gullible, and weak-minded of their hard-earned cash. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if, in a few years, he’s running for Congress.

klys Mon, Oct 21, 2013 4:11:56pm

Girl Scouts is somewhat supportive of feminism and inclusive of LGBT folk, including as scout leaders and within the organization. It’s one of the nicer things about the organization, I have to say.

As such, they are heretics and should be scourged from the face of the earth.

///

Seriously, if I were an Eagle Scout I would say fuck the BSA. I can be proud of my Gold Award instead.

Decatur Deb Mon, Oct 21, 2013 4:14:04pm

re: #1 majii

I find it strange that I was a girl scout for many years and can’t recall anything that was said or done that was related to lesbianism, abortion, or family planning clinics. I think this fake pastor is looking for attention and donations that he can use to help finance his lifestyle by bilking the uniformed, gullible, and weak-minded of their hard-earned cash. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if, in a few years, he’s running for Congress.

You probably weren’t in the double-secret Illuminati Girl Scouts. I was a
real radio operator for our Eighth Army GS troop in Korea—weird story involving PRC-77 radios, CH-47 helicopters, bomb-sight toilets and smoke grenades.

klys Mon, Oct 21, 2013 4:18:31pm

re: #3 Decatur Deb

You probably weren’t in the double-secret Illuminati Girl Scouts. I was a
real radio operator for our Eighth Army GS troop in Korea—weird story involving PRC-77 radios, CH-47 helicopters, bomb-sight toilets and smoke grenades.

…I was apparently a member of the wrong troop. None of my stories are nearly that interesting.

Decatur Deb Mon, Oct 21, 2013 4:21:21pm

re: #4 klys