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1 cat-tikvah  Mon, Nov 11, 2013 10:10:46pm

Newsflash — whatever women do is wrong. Have children early, wrong. Wait to have children, wrong. Stay at home, wrong. Work full-time, wrong. Work part-time, wrong.
Years ago I was at a Lamaze conference and one of the presenters WALKED AWAY from me when I mentioned I was primarily an at-home mom. After that I decided I had to decide my own value, and values.

2 cat-tikvah  Mon, Nov 11, 2013 10:27:07pm

Oh and I forgot — choose not to have children, also wrong.

3 Aqua Obama  Tue, Nov 12, 2013 2:17:10am

Half of America is just plain freakin weird. If you factored in financial issues into the polls. they would likely look much different.

4 wheat-dogghazi  Tue, Nov 12, 2013 5:43:28am

As I said in a comment earlier, if this survey had been done in China, the answer probably would have been the same. Most rural families consider women should be married by age 25 and men by 27 before they go “stale” … or something. It may have something to do with medical care in China, or life expectancy, neither of which have been very good historically.

One factoid I turned up almost by accident a while ago is the average age for American women to get married: 26. I think the average age for men might be 27 or 28, if memory serves. In other words, the survey is just reflecting what already happens. I doubt there is the same societal pressure on American women to get married by 25 as there is on my college students in China. Most of them will graduate at 23, and then their families will exert substantial pressure for them to hurry up, find mates and produce kids — the only support system for most elderly folks in China,

5 Sionainn  Tue, Nov 12, 2013 6:06:29am

It wasn’t my choice to have my kids so late in life (at age 39 and 41). It sometimes bothers me that I’m old enough to be my kids’ grandmother, especially if someone asks me if I’m out with my grandkids (assholes). On the other hand, we own a home, have stability, and most of all, I have the patience and time to actually spend with them.

6 philosophus invidius  Tue, Nov 12, 2013 7:01:30am

Maybe women would have women by 26 if there were proper maternity leave in the US.

7 Vicious Babushka  Tue, Nov 12, 2013 8:14:07am

I had my first child when I was 22.
I had my last child when I was 37.
YMMV.

8 calochortus  Tue, Nov 12, 2013 8:55:07am

re: #5 Sionainn

It wasn’t my choice to have my kids so late in life (at age 39 and 41). It sometimes bothers me that I’m old enough to be my kids’ grandmother, especially if someone asks me if I’m out with my grandkids (assholes). On the other hand, we own a home, have stability, and most of all, I have the patience and time to actually spend with them.

Don’t let it bother you. Those folks aren’t assholes, they’re just guessing at things they have no way of knowing.
My parents married fairly late, so by the time I, the younger child, showed up, Mom was 35 and Dad was 47. I had a wonderful, stable, loving family. The only downside being that despite living well into their 80s they passed away some years ago and I miss them. I consider that a very reasonable trade-off for having had such a great start in life.

Added bonus, Mom had been to college, was in the Red Cross during WW II, supported herself for years and made a choice to stay home and raise us kids. She was happy with those choices and didn’t suffer from the sense of missed possibilities that some younger women faced.


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