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1 HappyWarrior  Tue, Dec 10, 2013 8:08:42pm

I don’t know. I always hated Jingle Bell Rock. Always found it tacky and I remember hearing it a lot when I was forced to do ice skating lessons as a kid which I hated since I got the worst foot blisters. Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer. Just stupid and the animated special to match it is even worse. My actual favorites are the old stuff as done by people like Sinatra, Crosby, and others but I do admit to liking the Pogues’ Fairytale of New York. Not your typical Christmas song I admit since it’s not happy but Shane Mcgowan and Kristy MacColl sang it quite well.

2 freetoken  Tue, Dec 10, 2013 8:44:31pm

Can there truly be a bad Christmas song?

3 freetoken  Tue, Dec 10, 2013 8:52:03pm

The Bieber thing is pretty obnoxious though.

Most of these pieces suffer from the same basic problem - trying to take an old standard and “modernize” it, usually with electronic help, or by simply forcing the old song into the fad of the day.

4 sagehen  Tue, Dec 10, 2013 8:57:35pm

Maudlin beyond belief:

Youtube Video

5 freetoken  Tue, Dec 10, 2013 9:08:23pm

If you’re looking for WORST Christ songs ever, you’ve come to the right place… no decade or region has a corner on poor taste, kitsch, smarm, or just bad music:

MP3 Audio

MP3 Audio

MP3 Audio

MP3 Audio

MP3 Audio

MP3 Audio

…. and so on…

6 The War TARDIS  Tue, Dec 10, 2013 10:22:39pm

Pomplamoose sounds as droning as Lorde does.

Though, I guarantee the members of it are much nicer than Lorde is. I shared a serious rant about Lorde with my mom. I loathe her.

7 Shiplord Kirel  Tue, Dec 10, 2013 10:39:08pm

Mannheim Steamroller’s light show reminds me of nothing so much as the ghastly kaleidoscope of flashing, strobing, searing, multicolored vision and sanity destroying emergency vehicle lights one would find at an especially bad chain reaction traffic accident.

8 SteveMcGazi  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 1:29:59am

The way I look at it, I can dig a Christmas song where somebody puts some real effort into it. My perfect example would be the Mariah Carey song “All I Want for Christmas”. She put a lot of work and a lot of her talent into it. On the other hand, that dreadful duet with Justing Bieber (same song) is just stomach turning. They probably had that thing done by lunch.

9 lockjawcanbefun  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:37:20am

Youtube Video

So sickeningly saccharine, it makes Christmas Shoes seem like something from a Scandinavian thrash metal band.

10 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:29:28am

“Rum Pa Pum Pum” is one of the suckiest Christmas songs EVER and there are so many craptastic covers it was hard to choose just one, so I selected Justin Bieber and Hippie Drum Circle as the two worst. I am sure that there are other covers just as bad.

11 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:34:06am

The songs that get played over and over and over at the mall are not really that bad in and of themselves, but it’s just the CONSTANT REPETITION OVER AND OVER AND OVER that makes them so awful.

In this category are Barbra Streisand’s “Home For Christmas” (GD is that song over yet? It’s been going on for like twelve hours).

Paul McCartney’s song is just crap. TOTAL CRAP. He is a talented songwriter, he could have made something better, but he didn’t.

“Jingle Bells” scat style, I just can’t even. STOP THAT SHIT. Diana Krall specializes in this ear-bleeding crap.

12 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:35:08am

I forgot: “HERE COMES SANTA, HERE COMES SANTA, DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE.”

13 nines09  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:56:46am
14 cat-tikvah  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:54:57am

Here’s the antidote to cloying and sappy. Good taste, however, not included.

amazon.com

Went to see John Waters’ Christmas show last year. That is one strange person.

Funny, but weeeeiiiird.

15 FemNaziBitch  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 10:54:31am

Feliz Navidad
Youtube Video

16 makeitstop  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 11:15:30am

Pomplamoose. Oy.

17 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 1:42:08pm

re: #15 FemNaziBitch

Feliz Navidad
[Embedded content]

I was gonna post “Police Nabbed My Dad” but that sucks too.


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 Frank says:

It makes me wanna dance. -- From a FZ interview about some music he had composed (on the synclavier). It was written in 17/35 (or something like that).