‘Cool’ Pope Decries Abortion, Reminds Us Why Popes Are Not So Cool
Oh, Pope Francis. We’re all trying so hard to be into you—despite the fact that you are the figurehead of a historically oppressive international corporation that shelters pedophiles, stigmatizes safe sex, and encourages the mass marginalization of women and gay people—so why don’t you just go all the way and really BE the progressive pope you’ve been cosplaying this whole time? Why do you have to get all POPEY on us with this anti-abortion shit? Hmph.
In his annual “state of the world” speech today, the pontiff explained that abortion is a “frightful” symptom of our culture’s widespread wastefulness. In other words, to callous modern women, terminating a pregnancy has exactly the same impact as throwing away a used Clorox wipe with a pube on it. Cool minimization of both the reasons why women seek abortions and the emotional repercussions of those decisions, bro! Apparently the only things unimportant enough to justify throwing away are women’s health, futures, and autonomy.
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