Exploding Unicorn: Get Bent, Lent
From a historical perspective, meatless Fridays are dubious at best. Modern scholars have no idea what Jesus actually ate when he was in the desert. He didn’t post any pictures of his food on Instagram or leave any well-preserved stool samples. I already checked the bottoms of my shoes just in case. Stepping on a Jesus turd would be the archeological discovery of the century. Given the current dearth of evidence, scientists can’t rule out that Jesus ate steak every night. For all we know, in 30 A.D. the desert could’ve been full of Texas Roadhouses. It’s impossible to prove a negative. If the theologians can use that argument to support the existence of God, then I can use it to support the existence of moderately priced chain restaurants.