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12 comments

1 FemNaziBitch  Jul 5, 2014 10:30:02am

My Dear Ole’ Dad voluntarily gave-up his guns when his vision deteriorated.

A Vision test is a good determining factor.

2 Randall Gross  Jul 5, 2014 10:41:42am

re: #1 FemNaziBitch

That’s a good point that I hadn’t considered.

3 Self Respecting Woman Voter Against the GOP  Jul 5, 2014 11:27:24am

re: #1 FemNaziBitch

My Dear Ole’ Dad voluntarily gave-up his guns when his vision deteriorated.

A Vision test is a good determining factor.

What was sad is that the doctors weren’t taking my grandmother’s driver’s license away. She had macular degeneration. She limited herself to driving to the store and back, but I took her everywhere else, including her doctor’s appointments. When we’d go to the retina specialist or the optometrist, I’d always mention that she can’t see (obviously because I was in there with her when they did the tests) and I’d ask about her driver’s license. They always said it was up to her and if she felt she could drive, then she could. Ugh. It was so frustrating. Thankfully, my grandmother was not a stupid, irresponsible woman and realized that she really couldn’t/shouldn’t be driving and gave up her right do to so voluntarily.

4 danarchy  Jul 5, 2014 12:00:50pm

re: #3 Self Respecting Woman Voter Against the GOP

What was sad is that the doctors weren’t taking my grandmother’s driver’s license away. She had macular degeneration. She limited herself to driving to the store and back, but I took her everywhere else, including her doctor’s appointments. When we’d go to the retina specialist or the optometrist, I’d always mention that she can’t see (obviously because I was in there with her when they did the tests) and I’d ask about her driver’s license. They always said it was up to her and if she felt she could drive, then she could. Ugh. It was so frustrating. Thankfully, my grandmother was not a stupid, irresponsible woman and realized that she really couldn’t/shouldn’t be driving and gave up her right do to so voluntarily.

I don’t think it is a good idea to put it on the doctors either. If someone is afraid they may lose their license if they go to the doctors then they may not seek needed medical care. The problem is there is no process for a family member to have a license suspended or removed and there is no required extra testing for the elderly. Hell here in Massachusetts you can take a driving test when you are 16 years old and then an eye test once every 10 years, and you can keep driving for the next 100 years if you make it that long. Legislators are terrified of seniors because they vote. It is almost a weekly occurrence around here to have someone 80+ years old drive through a storefront.

5 Self Respecting Woman Voter Against the GOP  Jul 5, 2014 12:30:23pm

re: #4 danarchy

I don’t think it is a good idea to put it on the doctors either. If someone is afraid they may lose their license if they go to the doctors then they may not seek needed medical care. The problem is there is no process for a family member to have a license suspended or removed and there is no required extra testing for the elderly. Hell here in Massachusetts you can take a driving test when you are 16 years old and then an eye test once every 10 years, and you can keep driving for the next 100 years if you make it that long. Legislators are terrified of seniors because they vote. It is almost a weekly occurrence around here to have someone 80+ years old drive through a storefront.

Neurologists (at least in my state) are required by law to report anyone who has had a seizure. That person’s driver’s license is suspended for six months and they must be seizure-free for that amount of time.

6 Grimalkin  Jul 5, 2014 4:01:47pm

Our dad was a gun collector, avid hunter and target shooter. He was well know at the local gun ranges for the impressive number for different weapons he owned, competed and won with. There are boxes and boxes of trophies and and targets from various competitions to attest to that fact. We are still going thru them, what do you do with them after this? Safety was always first with him. Almost all of his guns were kept locked in a safe and a couple of gun lockers in a windowless room with his ammo and reloading equipment. How do you responsibly sale off a collection like this? He told us where he kept a couple of guns for protection, secured, in smart, clever places where the gun was safe but easy enough to get to if needed. His health started to fade. When he felt he couldn’t safely shoot any more, he quit competing, but didn’t give up his hobby or his concealed carry permit, or stop carrying. The dementia started. He lost his drivers license, he continued to carry. He’d always had respect for guns and their power to destroy, yet he started getting careless. He refused to even think about giving up his guns. We tried. He was very strong willed.
Then his condition worsened rapidly, he fell in the night. He mange to call, we got him to the emergency room. He stayed in the hospital for a week, a nursing home for another. No one asked about guns in the home. While he was gone, we went through the house, adding rails in the bathroom and by the bed. We moved furniture and appliances to make things easier for him. We also secured every loose gun we knew of, checked for others and took them and all the loose ammo into the gun room and changed the lock. We did our part, didn’t we?
When he came home, he looked, moved and sounded better then he had in months. He could carry on a real conversation. I’m sure he knew what we had done but he didn’t say a thing. We thought things were alright, getting better even. The next night we found out how wrong we were. Two weeks ago about 3:30 in the morning, we found out he had yet another gun and more ammo. I still don’t know how I feel about his suicide. He was 86.

7 Decatur Deb  Jul 5, 2014 4:10:52pm

re: #6 Grimalkin

FIL was much the same. Career Army, including a stint on the Army Pistol Team. He was strong and disciplined into his 86th year, rode his Harley. He didn’t tell us when he got the terminal lung cancer diagnosis. He squared his shit away and shot himself on the back porch. Who has the right to tell someone they can’t choose to go out standing up?

8 Rightwingconspirator  Jul 5, 2014 5:18:49pm

re: #6 Grimalkin

Kudos to you for doing what you did. I think you had a determined and intrepid person there who could not be dissuaded from those big choices in life and in the end. I’m older and not old enough to have this worry. But you do remind me there will be an end game exit responsibility for my small collection of guns. For the wife and myself. FWIW I’ll be thinking that through in earnest after your heartfelt personal post.

9 Grimalkin  Jul 5, 2014 7:06:32pm

re: #8 Rightwingconspirator

Thank you for taking the time now to think about it. For us to deal with the guns now is like salt in an open wound. We have a fiduciary responsibility to the beneficiaries of the trust to get the best price for them. Right now I’d like to take them down to a machine shop, take out some health frustration on them and sell what’s left for scrap. Then take the ammo to the desert and let an explosives professional blow it sky high and a mile wide while we watch. Later when we’re calmer … I don’t know.

The fact that dad wanted leave on his own terms isn’t news to us. Dad had been hinting for decades that this is how he’d go. It started when Mom died after painful and protracted battle with cancer, he didn’t want to go that way. I wouldn’t want to go that way.

But that could not prepare Mr. Grimalkin of waking up to the sound of a gunfire and seeing his father dead (insert grisly details here) on the floor.

Please, I believe you have a right to make this decision, but I beg of you, please don’t leave those you love to find you in such a gruesome manner. I didn’t see it, but the brothers did, they were left to clean up the mess, one hasn’t keep food down since, one hasn’t been seen in days, Mr. Grimalkin is devastated.

This was a violent death, though dad didn’t feel the pain. It was another face of gun violence seldom talked about. There were no good guys or bad guy with a gun. There was no hatred or malice involved, it wasn’t an accident, it wasn’t unexpected, but the pain for the living, right now is inconsolable.

10 FemNaziBitch  Jul 6, 2014 4:49:49am

re: #3 Self Respecting Woman Voter Against the GOP

What was sad is that the doctors weren’t taking my grandmother’s driver’s license away. She had macular degeneration. She limited herself to driving to the store and back, but I took her everywhere else, including her doctor’s appointments. When we’d go to the retina specialist or the optometrist, I’d always mention that she can’t see (obviously because I was in there with her when they did the tests) and I’d ask about her driver’s license. They always said it was up to her and if she felt she could drive, then she could. Ugh. It was so frustrating. Thankfully, my grandmother was not a stupid, irresponsible woman and realized that she really couldn’t/shouldn’t be driving and gave up her right do to so voluntarily.

I voiced my concerns about Dad’s driving to his doctor. The doctor decided to tell Dad he had to take a driving test. If the State Police determined he could drive, then the doctor would approve. State Police approved a limited driver’s license —basically he could drive to the barber, the grocery store and his doctors during daylight hours (non-rush hour).

He had given up his guns long before that tho.

Then again, my Dad took the responsibility of firearm ownership very seriously.

11 Fairly Sure I'm Still Obdicut  Jul 6, 2014 5:51:37am

This is just part of the larger conversation that responsible gun owners should have with average gun owners. Many people who aren’t elderly still aren’t responsible enough to own a gun in the home.

12 Cardio (formerly JRCMYP)  Jul 6, 2014 6:08:39am

Grimalkin, thank you for posting your personal experience with what I’m guessing is your father in law. I’m so sorry. I’m sure your FIL felt he was doing the right thing for him. But the burden for all of you is a terrible one to bear. I wish you peace.

And thank you for the very important point about gun safety and the elderly.


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