How To Be A Pundit
1) remember to Look Down Benevolently. not everybody is as calm and wise as you are. remember, your job is to give everybody the Benefit Of Your Wisdom. you are, fer sure, Very Calm, Moderate, and Reasonable. not like those critics of yours who are Angry, which is Bad
2) you are empowered to tell people What They Think. they’ll deny it, but you know What They Think better than They do. After all, when they say the sky is blue, it’s clear that they are trying to tell people that the sky is purple. it’s obvious!
3) remember, Some Say some stupid things. or at least some people should be saying these stupid things, even if you can’t find anybody who says them, because it’s time for you to say how stupid Some Say are, whoever they are, for saying them. Some Say you lie when you do this, but these people are just Angry, which is Bad
4) in conclusion, it’s obvious that there is an Easy Answer to all this. everybody else - except people who agree with you - are just stupid for not seeing the Easy Answer. why doesn’t everybody just do what i say?? it’s a mystery…