You’re probably thinking, of all the assaults on our liberty - our imperial President, Benghazi, and also Benghazi - just how bad can things be?

How about the assault on liberty that is “your exterior doors must match your trim paint color”? Time to water the tree of liberty with some Benjamin Moore HC-120!

Friends, I give to you the gift that keeps on giving: Recharter HOAs.

Have a seat, pour a drink, and prepare to wander down the rathole of insanity.

It’s almost too much crazy to even try to pull-quote, but I’ll try.

Check it:

HOA rules keep the appeal of neighborhoods uniform. This is socialism.
HOA rules define every aspect of a person’s options. This is totalitarianism.

(here)
Uh, ok. Mostly they’re annoying retired people who give me 6 months to ensure my pole beans have been trimmed to the maximum height allowed by the covenants, but, ok, sure the totalitarianism thing, sure.

Though these are mundane issues our right to liberty and private property is guaranteed by our Constitution and cannot be signed away by contract. Therefore, the Association has no right to assume such authority, and to assume that the Association has such authority is extraordinarily arrogant and frightening and should be so for every true American. This is also where our highest moral obligation of protecting and defending the rights of others as we would ourselves becomes paramount.

(here)

I mean, other than you signed a contract with them, a contract that no legal authority in history has declared “slavery” or any such thing. You didn’t have to move here.

“The Painter I Hired Now Runs My Life”. Seriously, it says that. A human being wrote that. I can’t even excerpt it.

And on and on and on. It just goes on, down a crazy ouroboros rathole.

To be sure: like I said, our HOA is annoying. Suuuuuuper annoying, as are most. But they are rooted in sanity - keep property values high without requiring government intervention - so we mostly tolerate it.

He comes to every meeting and protests, demanding the HOA board swear fealty to Jesus and the Constitution. Seriously.

(I have long wished to get a little too drunk before an HOA meeting and demand we stop it with the worrying about my goddamned pole beans and instead create some atomic robot supermen to show those uptight assholes in Brambleton who’s the real power in this corner of Loudoun County! And in doing so he’ll give me a knowing wink that he, too, is drunk and attempting performance art.)

Mmmm-hmmm. Now if you’ll excuse me, I wanted to finish my other post explaining how rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God and thus, I can paint my mailbox any goddamned color I wish.