49 Tremendous Things That Florida Men Accomplished This Year
You’d be hard-pressed to find a more perfect caricature of America’s wildest, bawdiest and most unintelligible impulses than Florida Man.
As the Internet’s most notorious citizen, Florida Man isn’t a single person, let alone a single resident of Florida. He’s an amalgamation of the characters who populate the ridiculous news stories that often trickle out of the Sunshine State. Florida Man is a raunchier version of the Onion’s mild-mannered Area Man, a caricature, with a wink and a nod, to our fellow Americans.
Florida Man is best known for his outlandish conduct, which ranges from the bizarre (carrying a meth lab in his pants) to the terrifying (trying to ignite a “race war” near Disney World). His batshit crazy antics are frequently documented on the Twitter account @_FloridaMan with headlines like “Hospital Nearly Burns Down After Florida Man on Oxygen Tank Tries to Smoke Crack in ICU” and “Florida Man Firebombs Boss’ Truck Because Meth.”
In short, Florida Man is America’s id. And although he hails from the nation’s wang, Florida Man embodies America’s deepest and darkest desires — and does so with reckless abandon. Jalopnik’s Patrick George described him best as “America’s worst superhero” in 2013: “Whoever this Florida Man is, he’s clearly insane and unstoppable. He feels no pain, has no ethics, and is capable of feats far beyond that of normal American man. It almost sounds like Florida Man is a superhero — just a really terrible one.”
As 2014 comes to a close, it’s time to salute the best and brightest of this year’s class of Florida Men.