NRA Adds Guns to Classic Children’s Tales (Hansel & Gretel Hunt for Food & Witches)
America’s biggest gun rights group has armed a few beloved fairy tale characters in its own twist on some children’s classics.
The National Rifle Association partnered with author and conservative blogger Amelia Hamilton to create the gun friendly versions of the classic tales.
In Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns), the brother and sister tandem head out into the woods armed with hunting rifles in the search for food for their family.
Following a successful hunt the pair come across a witch’s cottage made of gingerbread, where they rescue two young boys being fattened up for the hag’s stew.
In another recreated classic, a hungry wolf learns not to mess with the gun-toting team of Little Red Riding Hood and grandma.
“So, with a kiss from her mother, rifle over her shoulder and a basket for her Grandmother in her hands, Red took a deep breath and entered the woods,” goes the revised tale of Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun).
Red uses her rifle to frighten off the sinister wolf in the forest, but the hungry beast’s day only gets worse when his attempt to beguile the grandmother ends with the elderly woman cornering him with her “scattergun”.
“Oh, how he hated when families learned how to protect themselves,” the tale goes.
If only Cinderella had a gun instead of her stepmother and step sisters all each having their own guns!