a Handshake That “Trump’s” the Rest.
(The full blog with pictures and videos is available if you click on the above link Thanks.)
It seems that everything President Trump does on a daily basis becomes fodder for the news. I can consciously remember at least eight presidents. I can say now with a fair amount of certitude that not everything they did was deemed “newsworthy.” Think about it. Obama was the first African-American president, and maybe he was in the news twice a week, certainly not to the extent that “The Donald” is paraded in front of us every night. Stories about Trump typically dominate every national newscast, and usually constitutes the first five to six “top stories.”
Certainly, some of this is due in part to the 24-hour news cycle, combined with the never-ending blather found on social media. However, it has been decided by the powers that be, that everything he does and says constitutes “headline news.” How do I know? The other day while the president was in Europe yelling at our NATO allies for being “stingy,” Trump and the new French President, Emmanuel Macron, (If I’m not mistaken, a “Macron” is a French cookie that you see in every Patisserie in France. It would be the equivalent of our nation electing President “Snickerdoodle.” Oh wait, too late.) faced off in a vice-like “grip-off” version of a handshake in a contest of presidential manliness. What a good use of their time.
(Trump’s tiny hands can’t take the squeezable crushing power of the French President. Grêle à la poignée de main. You Tube)
In fact, Trump has been noted for some of his, let’s just call them, “handshake irregularities.” In business, where Trump made his bones, there are certain moves as well as modes of dress that indicate that a great industrialist is attempting to intimidate his or her rivals or competitors. For example, a nice suit is often referred to as a “power suit.” There are also “power ties.” Trump is typically seen sporting both. However, in business, after apparel is evaluated, the next step in winning over the competition usually involves that most sacred of greetings, the handshake.
Every move made by Donald Trump attracts attention, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that now even his approach to shaking hands has been put under the microscope. (Because he has tiny hands, tee hee) Apparently Trump has a signature move, and it has been documented many times. Here it is, submitted to a weary public:
(Apparently the move is the pat on the hand, and then pull the prey towards you, and that’s how you dominate your opponent. You Tube)
The handshake is a standard battle in the war for machismo in business. Who ever possesses the more powerful handshake, seems to have the upper “hand.” Greetings in general are a powerful statement. The way we greet others, as well as our first impressions typically set the tone for everything that comes after. They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. (They also say not to go swimming for an hour after you eat. “They” say a lot of things, and I’m sick of “them,” but that’s a blog for another day.)
When I was a child, I can remember having to shake hands with my father’s friends and business associates. (My father was an accountant, and he had a lot of side accounts. These were big time business “bigwigs” who were major players in the business world, “Captains of Industry” if you will. This included such luminaries as the guy who owned the bagel store, the guy who made dental bridges, and the guy who owned a laundromat.) I can remember that this became a major source of stress for me since the first thing my father’s friends and clients wanted to do when I met them was to shake my hand. For some reason, these people loved crushing my hand with their meaty Eastern European “mitts,” and then saying that infamous line that every boy dreads; “C’mon, that’s not how you shake hands, shake like a man!”
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I wonder if I ever cost my father any clients with my wimpy little handshake? (You Tube)
I’m not sure why these middle-aged men felt a compulsion to crush my hand. Perhaps it was because they were European immigrants or sons of European immigrants, and this was the way they demonstrated their manly superiority? Either way, if you’re a boy, you were in for an initiation every time one of these beefy bears decided to crush your hand with their vice-like grip.
As you become a teenager, and you begin to visit colleges as well as apply for jobs, the handshake takes on a whole new level of importance. One time we were visiting SUNY Oneonta, and we were meeting with an admissions counselor. The guy came into the room, and I didn’t even get out of my seat. I then proceeded to offer him the ultimate “dead fish” handshake. My mother went on to use the majority of the lengthy four-hour ride back to North Massapequa to berate me for my weak showing, claiming that I was an embarrassment to her. Like most 16 year-old meat-heads, I found the whole thing kind of humorous, but I did attempt to modify my attempts at shaking hands from that point forward. However, when you have low muscle tone, you are going to lose a lot of “grip-offs” with the alpha-male handshaking public.
(If only this was available to me when I was a teenager. It would have saved my mother a lot of stress. You Tube)
The process of greeting another individual is as old as history itself. As human beings, we have wrestled with the challenge of how we should greet our adversaries, as well as how we should welcome friends and allies. The best guess most historians have is that the handshake originated as a gesture of peace, an assurance that neither opponent had a weapon. It appears that the handshake can trace its roots to ancient Greece in the 5th century B.C.E. (My source on this is anything but “Fake News,” it comes directly from Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner’s 2000 Year-Old Man.)
While the handshake may in fact be a European innovation adopted by the United States, it is hardly the norm for greeting people around the world. In fact many cultures go far beyond the handshake when happening upon both friend and foe.
Tibet – Sticking your tongue out. No wonder the Chinese are so agitated by the Dalai Lama.
Malaysia – Asking people where they are going? – This seems especially odd to me since what you should really be asking somebody you just ran into is “Where have you been?”
Philippines – Putting knuckles on your forehead – This must be how the “nugie” was invented. “Hey, great to see you. come over here you big loser,” and then you proceed to give somebody a “nugie.” Maybe Duarte will give Trump a “nugie” when they meet?
India – Touching “Elders’” feet. – This means that Mother Theresa must have said “hello” to a hell of a lot of Indians in her day.
Thailand – Performing the “Wai.” –
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A lot of Americans have adopted this traditional Thailand greeting. I think they believe it makes them more spiritual or something. It also allows them to avoid touching other people’s hands which can be a hang-up for some germaphobes. (Getty Images)
I would also be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the contributions made by both Eskimos as well as Bedouin men when it comes to greeting others without shaking hands. Apparently Eskimos and Bedouin men rub noses when greeting people. Another greeting I believe that has outlasted its welcome is the first bump. This practice is often utilized by those who prefer to avoid touching other people’s hands, as well as being appropriated by those who wish to heap faint praise on those they wish to tell are doing something special, when they really haven’t done anything of any real note. For example:
“Nice job ordering the beet salad, fist bump bro!”
Of course the best non-handshake greeting belongs to the Mafia. Like the French, they seem to enjoy kissing each other on both cheeks. I’ve always been impressed by the way two “goombas” can greet each other by planting two big wet ones on either cheek of their fellow “wiseguys,” and one minute later one of them is curb-stomping the other guy’s face. Of course the one “hello” that you never want from a mobster is the “kiss of death.” Just ask Fredo.
(Happy New Year to you too, you sexy Guido beast! You tube)
Without a doubt, the most illustrious handshakes belong to professional athletes. A study of 20th century greetings almost corresponds directly to the changing world of sports mores. Consider baseball for example. In the 1920s and ’30s, whenever Babe Ruth or Jimmie Foxx, or whichever hard-drinking “mug” went deep, they were greeted by the next batter with a quick handshake, then it was back to the dugout, and return to thinking about what job they were going to do to make ends meet in the winter time. Probably, coal miner.
This is Babe Ruth’s famous called shot, in the World Series no less, and he barely gets a handshake as he crosses home plate. You Tube)
By the 1970s however, baseball, as well as all professional sports began to change. Now teams seemed to put a lot of thought into how they should greet each other when a teammate did something successful.
(By the 1980s, the “Bash Brothers” created a whole new greeting for celebrating a home run, the “forearm bash.” You Tube)
Basketball players have proven to be super creative when it comes to taking the concept of the handshake, and turning it on its ear. Basketball players love shaking hands so much, they slap hands with players on the foul line even after they miss. “Hey good job missing that clutch free throw, how about a “hand-slap” indicating that we are still behind you even though you probably just cost us the game. However, since we literally have no choice, we are behind you.”
At least the handshakes given to those who have just missed their free throws are pedestrian at best. When NBA players are in their happy place, rest assured, the handshakes are an art onto themselves.
(I am by no means a Trump supporter. Everyday I wake and the world isn’t on fire constitutes a day to be thankful for. However, if he were to do any of the following handshakes with even one world leader, he would have my vote. You Tube)
At the heart of the social importance behind the handshake is the concept of the first impression. In fact, you can make the argument that the handshake is more important when you are trying to make a first impression than your appearance. For most people there are several handshakes that can make or break their career, social status, and/or potential relationships.
Meeting your future in-laws. – This is one that you really want to get right the first time, especially if you are a young man, and you are meeting your fiance’s father. A weak or lifeless handshake can sully you with your future father-in-law as much as getting caught in the sack with his daughter. Well, almost as much.
Job Interview – I’m not talking about a fast-food gig, I mean that first interview in a position that you are hoping to turn into a career. The handshake must be firm, but not bone-crushing. Being greeted by a woman, which typically you will be if you are first meeting with somebody from Human Resources complicates things. They expect a firm handshake too, but be careful not to manhandle their dainty little hands. Also, this is not a good time to give anybody the middle finger with the hand you are shaking with.
College Roommate – Again, nobody wants to live a with a dead fish. You need to make a good impression on this person, or else it’s just a matter of time before they turn the entire “hall” against you.
(All it took was one handshake with the slimy Henry Potter, and George Bailey knew he could never do business with such a cold and callous character. George looked at his hand as if Potter had given him a STD via the handshake. You Tube)
We all must make our way in this world. This means striking out on our own. We will be told by our parent’s or mentors, “Put your best foot forward.” However, if you really wish to make a killer first impression, you had better provide your best “Hi, I’m Eric Stratton Rush Chairman, damn glad to meet you.” handshake, or you could find yourself sitting at that unfortunate table in life with Sidney, Muhammad, Jugdish, and Clayton.
(“Flounder” lost out on his chance to “chill” with the Omega’s thanks to a wimpy handshake, I guarantee it. You Tube)
So take it from one who knows. When you meet somebody, stand up straight, offer a firm handshake, and for G_d’s sake, do not embarrass your mother, especially when you are a captive audience in the back of her car.
(You just know this young go-getter is going places. You Tube)