Things I Believe as a Patriot
Things that I believe as a patriot:
Everyone should, once a year, pay obesiance to the emperor as god-on-earth. Anyone unwilling to pay obesiance to the emperor is clearly a fucking Christian and should be taken to the Colisseum and fed to lions for my amusement;
everyone should be willing to give the Oath of Loyalty to the Crown and the Anglican Church. Anyone unwilling to give the Oath of Loyalty is clearly a fucking Catholic or Baptist and should be barred from Oxford or Cambridge, and unable to find gainful employment;
everyone should be willing to push their right hand forward and to say “Sieg Heil” when it is demanded. Anyone unwilling to push their right hand forward and to say “Sieg Heil” is clearly a fucking Jew and deserves death;
everyone should be willing to swear under an oath before God in a courtroom when such is demanded of them. Anyone unwilling to swear an oath before God is clearly a fucking Quaker and can’t be trusted to give evidence in a court of law;
everyone should be willing to take a literacy test to prove their ability to vote in elections. Anyone who can’t manage a literacy test is clearly a fucking negro who is unworthy of voting rights in this Great Nation;
everyone should be willing to clap until Stalin stops clapping. Anyone who stops clapping before Stalin stops clapping is clearly a saboteur who should be sent to a gulag;
everyone should stand for the national anthem.