I Am the Very Model of a Very Stable Genius
Some of my best work. Sung to the tune of ‘Modern Major General’.
I am the very model of a very stable genius,
I talk in public all about my very able penius,
Pay no attention to all the required legal strict-i-ures,
And need to have my briefing books accompanied by pict-i-ures
I wandered off while being lectured on the Constitut-i-on,
I keep repeating “They have found no ev’dence of collus-i-on”,
I offer up bad nominees that still don’t face reject-i-on,
Accuse my foes of things I’ve done in obvious project-i-on.
Chorus:
Accuse my foes of things I’ve done in obvious project-i-on.
Accuse my foes of things I’ve done in obvious project-i-on.
Accuse my foes of things I’ve done in obvious project-i-ection!
I sign laws punishing Blue States that really are too populous,
Pretend to not know old friends like Mike Flynn and Papadopolous,
And while you puzzle daily on what lines in my last speech-a meant,
I somehow manage to avoid Congressional impeach-a-ment.
Despite bashing the New York Times, I talk to Maggie Haberman,
Ask FBI Directors, “Hey, can you do me a favor, man?”
I do a lot of shit that many folks find too unusual,
And threaten poor Jeff Sessions ‘bout his traitorous recus-i-al.
Chorus:
And threaten poor Jeff Sessions ‘bout his traitorous recus-i-al.
And threaten poor Jeff Sessions ‘bout his traitorous recus-i-al.
And threaten poor Jeff Sessions ‘bout his traitorous recus-i—usial!
When I do something even Lindsey Graham finds preposterous,
America’s economy becomes a lot less prosperous,
When I no longer can elicit angry white resent-a-ment,
Then Pence et al. will fin’lly read the 25th Amend-ament.
When even Putin tires of my obvious insanity,
And everyone is tired of my threatening humanity,
Before Jong Un and I start swapping nuclear deterrences,
And standing in a bread line is an every day occurrences.
Chorus:
And standing in a bread line is an every day occurrences.
And standing in a bread line is an every day occurrences.
And standing in a bread line is an every day occurrence-urrences!
When everyone is worn out from continuous anxiety,
And wants to go back to a state of national propriety,
When everyone is tired of this constant inconvenience,
You’ll fin’lly say “You’re fired!” to this very stable genius!