How Did Drudge Eff Up His Bear Rape Scoop?

Can’t *gasp* stop *inhale* laughing my ass off
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According to multiple individuals who attended a recent screening of the film, DiCaprio is actually mauled—not raped, twice or otherwise—by a bear. One such individual, Brian Abrams of Death and Taxes Magazine, wrote: More: How Did Drudge F Up His Bear Rape Scoop?