Well as most of us know, Republicans make a clear effort to inject religion into their policy making as much as possible. I guess I should clarify that because it’s not entirely accurate: when it comes to social policies, Republicans try to inject religion as much as possible. When it comes to economic policies then they suddenly forget that Jesus Christ spoke out against greed and focused on the responsibility a society has to its poor, needy, sick and elderly.
And it’s clear to anyone who follows me that I don’t consider most conservatives actual Christians. I believe they follow what I call “Republicanity.” It’s what reality shows me. It’s a mix of political ideologies tossed in with a handful of passages from the Bible. Because let’s be honest — when it comes to the Bible, everyone (who’s Christian anyway) picks and chooses which passages they want to follow and which they don’t.
That being said, I thought it might be fun to write the “Republican Ten Commandments” based on what the GOP seems to stand for. Sure, there are many really kind, caring conservative voters out there - but they still vote for a party that’s anything but. It just baffles me how so many Americans vote against their own interests.
So, based on what the GOP stands for, I present to you the Republican Ten Commandments:
1. Thou shalt worship no other Americans but Ronald Reagan.
2. Thou shalt pay no attention to the fact that tax rates have nothing to do with capitalism. Remember, we were in fact a nation based on socialism before 1980 when our savior was elected.
3. To speak ill of Ronald Reagan means you are not a real conservative.
4. Thou shalt honor Ayn Rand’s economic ideologies, but ignore the fact that she was an atheist who thought religious people were fools.
5. Thou shalt respect your mother and father by ensuring that we privatize Social Security and Medicare so that private corporations can profit from these programs.
6. Guns are the only means of salvation. Thou shalt live in fear every moment that someone is out to get you.
7. Though adultery and divorce are acceptable and frequent occurrences (especially in “strongly conservative” states), it is same-sex marriage that will ultimately destroy the traditional family and ruin the sanctity of marriage.
8. Women are to be treated as subservient to men. Their rights will be determined by panels consisting entirely of males as it is clear men know more, and are better suited to determine female equality and how to handle women’s health.
9. The poor are but leeches on society seeking a handout from everybody else. The rich suffer the greatest burden of all and it is your responsibility to ensure that the rich are properly taken care of, for they are the job creators.
10. Thou shalt remember that greed is good, the poor are lazy, gays are bad, women are wicked, Rush Limbaugh is a respectable citizen, Sarah Palin is intelligent and George W. Bush was a great president.