A Patriot’s Guide to Spotting Traitors
(just kidding)
Religion
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It’s easy to spot a supporter of Creeping Sharia Law (cue creepy theremin music) and thus a traitor to America. Suspect anyone who: 1.) Drinks coffee. Coffee is suspected to have first been brewed in Sufi monasteries. You probably already suspected coffee was part of an Islamist conspiracy because you’re …