NSA shortcut transcript of Chuck C’s family visit

[chuck’s family] We’ve been reading what you’ve been writing and we need to have a talk [/chuck’s family]

But mom!

[chuck’s family] We didn’t raise you like that [/chuck’s family]

I’m smarter than all of you all combined

[chuck’s family] We’ve benefited from liberal policies and your upbringing with the good schools and all wouldn’t have been possible without them. Now, where did this racism, misogyny and hatred of homosexuals come from? [/chuck’s family]

I’m disowning all of you stupid inferior people!

[chuck’s family] Quit telling people you are autistic and admit to the world that you pooped on the floor [/chuck’s family]

You can’t talk to me that way, I am an award winning journalist. If I only had my gun! I’m going back to California and I’ll never talk to you again. Now give me some money.