This just in …

BREAKING: Chuck Johnson really really hates Michelle Fields, kisses Trump’s ass

His hand did not touch her face! She must be lying!

Despite being a thorough going, kiss kick ass supporter of The One, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Alberta), I have reached out to the Trump campaign in a vain attempt to be marginally relevant (or at least noticed) and offered to testify (not in court, but you know, like say stuff) against Fields’ credibility since she continues to accuse Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski of assaulting her. And also, she continues to be a girl, so clearly she’s at fault.

I stand ready (if anyone cares — hello? over here!) to turn over all text messages, emails, smoke signals, winks, nudges, sexual fantasies and phone records with Fields to confirm that I believe she is a serial liar with a history of drama seeking behavior upon request by law enforcement. She however does not seek drama when law enforcement does not ask her.

No wait. That didn’t come out right.

Anyway, I’ll share private communications with her with law enforcement, because she’s not a source like that guy who leaked those fake abortion videos to me.

More at GotNwes.