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Onion: Nation's Wealthy Cruelly Deprived of True Meaning of Christmas

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Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus12/18/2013 9:19:20 pm PST
Phil On Why He Voted Romney in 2012
“If I’m lost at three o’clock in a major metropolitan area…I ask myself: Where would I rather be trying to walk with my wife and children? One of the guys who’s running for president is out of Chicago, Illinois, and the other one is from Salt Lake City, Utah. [Editor’s note: Romney is from Boston, not Salt Lake City.] Where would I rather be turned around at three o’clock in the morning? I opted for Salt Lake City. I think it would be safer.”

Yeah, a Freeper type.