And we have EmmmieG, who is dressed for the Oscars in a sweatshirt she chose because “I have a cold and I’m trying to get over it,” the skirt she wore to church and a pair of fuzzy socks. Her hair is done a la scrunchie, and she is proud to say she was wearing earrings at one point today. Let’s ask her about how she prepared.

Did you get any $5,000 makeovers in preparation for this event?

Um, no. Isn’t that more like a college scholarship amount?

Did you try any exotic purges?

Not unless someone has invented the cookie dough purge.

Are your shoes worth more than entire South American provinces?

Well, in my mind, if it’s raining out and I really need to mail this letter.

Special diet?

No, I just basically ate like a normal person. A normal person who had to be sure the leftovers got eaten up.

Did you borrow your dress from a famous designer?

No, since the day my sister left for college, I stopped borrowing other people’s clothes.

Will you be disappointed if you don’t win tonight?

Not particularly. I haven’t acted in anything since a youth camp skit.

From where you will be watching the Oscars?

I won’t. I have to make dinner for my family. But if I were, it would be from a comfy chair.