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Stephen Colbert on Trump's Inability to Find a Good Law Firm: "He Won't Pay and He Won't Listen"

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majii6/10/2017 4:00:05 pm PDT

Good news! My daughter arrived yesterday, and we went to the local animal shelter instead of to Pet Smart to look at doggies. I adopted a lab mix. Her name is Penny. That is the name shelter workers gave her. I’m giving her the name Penelope and using Penny as her nickname. For now, I’m going to refer to her as Penelope Penny. I figure this way, she’ll become accustomed to both names and will eventually respond to either. She is all black with a white spot on her chest. She’s a real beauty. I adopted her because when my daughter and I looked at her, she looked back at us with a look that said, “Get me outta here!” Plus, she appears to have a very sweet, docile nature. The shelter workers told us she’d been abandoned in an area near our neighborhood, which, of course, pissed us both off. Neither of us think a family should abandon a pet for any reason. Penelope Penny’s only been home a couple hours now, but she’s already laid claim to the center of my bed. My daughter and I were talking in the kitchen when we noticed she wasn’t roaming the house. We went looking for her and found her laying in the middle of my bed as if she owns it. Adopting her includes the price of spaying. The vet will perform the procedure next month and give her a rabies shot. Today is a very happy day for me. We will be celebrating my daughter’s 36th birthday tomorrow. I can’t believe my baby is 36 years old. It seems to me as if it was only a few years ago when my ex and I were bringing her home from the hospital. The plan is to have dinner at a nice restaurant and then see a movie. She mentioned wanting to see “Wonder Woman,” so I guess that will be the movie we’ll see.