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Seth Meyers: Trump's Fixer, Michael Cohen, Had a Secret Slush Fund

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wheat-dogg, raker of forests, master of steam5/10/2018 6:37:50 am PDT

re: #113 HappyWarrior

Do you foresee that changing or is it something too ingrained in Chinese culture? I’ve actually met a few clients, Iranian immigrant women who have kept their maiden name.

It is changing, but it will take at least another generation or two for it to become widespread. For one thing, traditional culture puts great emphasis on family and hometown connections (and face), so the idea that your children may not want to marry and have kids, or that they are gay or lesbian, puts a lot of unwanted pressure on parents. People around them will assume the parents were failures in teaching “filial piety” to their kids, and in small towns and villages, might even shun those families. Another aspect is (for women) to remain virgins until they meet The One (or until the parents arrange for one). Traditional Chinese men don’t want someone else’s woman, divorced or otherwise. Parents drum it into their girls’ heads to remain virgins until they are at least engaged. However, many engagements happen soon after the consummation, and I’ve been to several Chinese weddings where the woman was “showing” but there was no shame associated with it.

Young people, of course, do a lot of stuff their parents never learn about. That’s a universal human behavior.

For another thing, the government really likes to push Confucian ideals of filial piety, obedience to authority, and devotion to the community (and not the self). You can probably understand why. So, being free in one’s sexual choices and behavior, or postponing or avoiding marriage, are elevated to being unpatriotic.