Hey Girl, Boy-Banders One Direction Gonna Make You Muslin All Night Long

Debbie Schlussel is here to warn parents that a member of boy group One Direction (we know who they are because we do not live in a cave, but we are not 12 so we have no idea which one is which either) is a muslin who wants to jihad and sexytime your daughters:

I’m not going to link directly to the crazy, but man is this over the top, can’t-be-parodied stuff.