re: #12 What, me worry?

Hey marjoree!

I understand that the talit issue is something that many American women have many strong feelings about.

So a couple of things that are not my opinion before I say my opinion.

The commandment to put fringes on a garment is something that is said three times a day in the third paragraph of the Shema (which, as you know, is composed of verses straight from the Torah). It even tells you why you put them on - so you don’t go exploring after your heart.

It is literally like putting a string around your finger as a reminder to be good and do mitzvot.

This is also something that men are commanded to do. It is not my opinion that men are ordered to do this as an extra reminder. It is not my opinion that women are seen as more in tune with mitzvot and hence don’t need the reminder. That really is the Tradition. The talit rather explicitly implies men are more prone to wander.

As to the Kadish being a tikun for the spies. This too is true. This is what the Tradition says.

Whether you believe what it says is right is up to you. It is also something that is pointed at the men.

Strictly speaking, there is nothing in the Law, that I know of, that would prohibit a woman from wearing a talit in of itself.

However, there is a strong prohibition against cross dressing. This is not my opinion either. That is a straight up Torah commandment.

For many thousands of years, a talit was nearly exclusively a man’s garment. In those thousands of years, there were some women who wanted to wear them and some who made the same arguments as today. But, they were the smallest minority.

That is legally important, because the Jewish legal definitions of male and female garments are based on what is commonly worn. A great example of that is that a Scottish Jew can wear a skirt if it is called a kilt - otherwise, he is cross dressing.

I have not said a thing about if I agree with these laws yet, or if you should agree with them yourself. However these really are the laws. Even though there is a great deal of Jewish debate over the law, some things were clearly on the books and generally agreed upon a long time ago. Anyone can look them up and look at what the majority has done since time immemorial.

OK… now as to my opinion.

In light of what the fringes are actually for, and in light of why a minyan is needed, if I were around in the Sixties to discuss it with the American women who became vocal over their right to wear them and be counted in a minyan, I would have been perplexed as to why they would want to lump themselves into a category (men) that is being penalized for being easily led astray.

However, it would not have been on my top ten list of things to worry about or get upset about. It isn’t something I lose sleep over today either.

As of today, we have two generations of women, and now grand-daughters who wear talits and kepot in synagogue.

One could argue that this has become their minhag and this supercedes the prohibition against cross-dressing because the style has become common.

Only of course, it hasn’t really. This is predominantly an American phenomenon - and it is generally not appreciated in the rest of the world.

It isn’t even the majority of American Jews.

Even in liberal conservative and reform synagogues (at least the ones I have been in), most of the women still do not wear a talit to pray. Yes, there are always some who proudly don the talit and *dare* others to question them. But most women don’t. This is because most Jews find seeing a woman in a talit as exactly as weird as they would find seeing their fathers pulling a lace shawl over their heads, covering their eyes and lighting Shabbos candles.

Either way, if you go to a house of worship, you obey the rules. If I were in a church or a mosque, I would be on my best behaviour. The Kotel has the old rules that the majority still follow.