allow me to blogwhore my buddy Culture of Truth’s weekly translation of Press The Meat and other talking bobblehead fests
Gregory: so you don’t like Mubarak?
Boehner: we need to listen to people crying
out for freedom
[ starts crying ]
Gregory: I see
Boehner: they’re crying for freedom fluffy [ sobs ]
Gregory: what does worry you?
Boehner: we can’t support violent crazy radicals who don’t supports right or democracy
Gregory: we’ll get to the tea party later
Gregory: what makes you think the Egyptians are ready for democracy?
Boehner: I believe freedom and low taxes are a god-given right
Gregory: Obama didn’t see this coming!
Boehner: well nobody’s perfect
Gregory: but aren’t you terribly disappointed?
Boehner: no
Gregory: jesus fucking christ who do I have to invite on to get someone to bash Obama?!?!?
Boehner: sobs
Gregory: the tea party is mad at you
Boehner: I know! [ sniffles ]
Gregory: will you at least fulfill your pledge to cut $100 billion from the budget?
Boehner: yes whatever shuts those loons up
Gregory: will you cut critical programs and damage the recovery
Boehner: when are we going to get serious about cutting spending?
Gregory: ok get serious and cut the defense budget
Boehner: Obama’s excessive spending causes unemployment
Gregory: oh I see
Boehner: we must cut spending now!
Gregory: won’t that cause another recession?
Boehner: no cutting spending will create jobs
Gregory: how does that work?
Boehner: because businesses will see Washington get serious about the debt and hire the people their business needs
Gregory: um yeah
Boehner: After big spending under Reagan, Bush I, Bush II it’s finally time to cut spending
Gregory: so cut Social Security!
Boehner: look David you and I both want to cut Social Security but not every Americans realize it’s necessary and it’s up to you and I educate them
Gregory: I’m on it
Gregory: shouldn’t the government get out of mortgage business?
Boehner: damm right
Gregory: won’t that collapse the housing market?
Boehner: it would have before but recent experience shows that the private sector can handle the private mortgage market
Gregory: Do you believe Obama is from Kenya
Boehner: he could be
Gregory: shouldn’t you stand up to utter ignorance?
Boehner: it’s not our job to tell people to the truth - we have to listen to the American people
Gregory: interesting perspective
Boehner: look people read a lot of things it’s not our job to traffic in truth
Gregory: Is your party trying to convince people Obama is Kenyan-Muslim-Marxist
Boehner: no I’m trying to convince people he borrows-and-spends so much he is almost as bad Reagan, George Bush or George W Bush
Boehner: you say people in Washington are trying to snuff out the American dream
Boehner: right
Gregory: but you’re Speaker of the House
Boehner: technically
Gregory: Rep. Chris Lee resigned because he put a shirtless picture of himself on the Internet
Boehner: Shitless Rep in Tasteless Move
Gregory: heh
Boehner: we will not tolerate immorality in the party that does not involve passing out checks from lobbyists on the House floor
Gregory: isn’t Obama doomed?
Boehner: you have persuaded me Fluffy
Gregory: who is the front runner in the GOP race in 2012 out of Romney, Huckabee, Palin and Paul?
Boehner: good god - hopefully someone else will come forward
Gregory: what do you need in a candidate?
Boehner: someone who can spout bullshit
really skillfully