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Anti-Muslim Bigot Brigade Embarrasses CPAC

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dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸2/13/2011 1:20:11 pm PST

allow me to blogwhore my buddy Culture of Truth’s weekly translation of Press The Meat and other talking bobblehead fests

Gregory: so you don’t like Mubarak?

Boehner: we need to listen to people crying
out for freedom
[ starts crying ]

Gregory: I see

Boehner: they’re crying for freedom fluffy [ sobs ]

Gregory: what does worry you?

Boehner: we can’t support violent crazy radicals who don’t supports right or democracy

Gregory: we’ll get to the tea party later

Gregory: what makes you think the Egyptians are ready for democracy?

Boehner: I believe freedom and low taxes are a god-given right

Gregory: Obama didn’t see this coming!

Boehner: well nobody’s perfect

Gregory: but aren’t you terribly disappointed?

Boehner: no

Gregory: jesus fucking christ who do I have to invite on to get someone to bash Obama?!?!?

Boehner: sobs

Gregory: the tea party is mad at you

Boehner: I know! [ sniffles ]

Gregory: will you at least fulfill your pledge to cut $100 billion from the budget?

Boehner: yes whatever shuts those loons up

Gregory: will you cut critical programs and damage the recovery

Boehner: when are we going to get serious about cutting spending?

Gregory: ok get serious and cut the defense budget

Boehner: Obama’s excessive spending causes unemployment

Gregory: oh I see

Boehner: we must cut spending now!

Gregory: won’t that cause another recession?

Boehner: no cutting spending will create jobs

Gregory: how does that work?

Boehner: because businesses will see Washington get serious about the debt and hire the people their business needs

Gregory: um yeah

Boehner: After big spending under Reagan, Bush I, Bush II it’s finally time to cut spending

Gregory: so cut Social Security!

Boehner: look David you and I both want to cut Social Security but not every Americans realize it’s necessary and it’s up to you and I educate them

Gregory: I’m on it

Gregory: shouldn’t the government get out of mortgage business?

Boehner: damm right

Gregory: won’t that collapse the housing market?

Boehner: it would have before but recent experience shows that the private sector can handle the private mortgage market

Gregory: Do you believe Obama is from Kenya

Boehner: he could be

Gregory: shouldn’t you stand up to utter ignorance?

Boehner: it’s not our job to tell people to the truth - we have to listen to the American people

Gregory: interesting perspective

Boehner: look people read a lot of things it’s not our job to traffic in truth

Gregory: Is your party trying to convince people Obama is Kenyan-Muslim-Marxist

Boehner: no I’m trying to convince people he borrows-and-spends so much he is almost as bad Reagan, George Bush or George W Bush

Boehner: you say people in Washington are trying to snuff out the American dream

Boehner: right

Gregory: but you’re Speaker of the House

Boehner: technically

Gregory: Rep. Chris Lee resigned because he put a shirtless picture of himself on the Internet

Boehner: Shitless Rep in Tasteless Move

Gregory: heh

Boehner: we will not tolerate immorality in the party that does not involve passing out checks from lobbyists on the House floor

Gregory: isn’t Obama doomed?

Boehner: you have persuaded me Fluffy

Gregory: who is the front runner in the GOP race in 2012 out of Romney, Huckabee, Palin and Paul?

Boehner: good god - hopefully someone else will come forward

Gregory: what do you need in a candidate?

Boehner: someone who can spout bullshit
really skillfully