re: #99 Pawn of the Oppressor

“There, fixed that for you.”

I’ve tried reading Twilight twice, as a gesture of goodwill towards my girlfriend who is a fan. The second time she was actually watching me read it, and I tried, I really did, but when it takes thirty fucking pages of self-centered adolescent narrative to get to the first plot point, “THOSE BOYS AT THE TABLE OVER THERE ARE VAMPIRES”, and another twenty pages after that to finally move out of the lunch room, well…

Like I said, I tried…

The movie was even worse, I held down the FF button on my UVerse remote and it’s like, “in school, in school, in school, nope still in school… still inside the school… Oh I think they were in the woods for five seconds… OK back in the school again…” I was looking for something like a plot, not the standing-by-the-locker conversation of an uninteresting teenage girl.

I tried. I really did. I was told that the whole diary-narrative thing was *appealing* somehow to the female reader, that said female reader somehow identified with this boring, self-absorbed, clumsy teenage girl who is written like a boring, self-absorbed teenage girl who occasionally has a middle-aged-woman insight. I just wanted to hang myself after the first five pages.

So endeth my short affair with Twilight.

My youngest daughter loves all that “Twilight” shit, the books, the movies. I can’t say that she is emotionally immature because she has a good job, has been self-supporting for years, and is married. So I don’t suppose there is anything wrong with enjoying silly entertainment.