Hey everybody, I just found, uh, Donald Trump’s old iPad in my, uh, my basement, sure, and, uh, it’s got some very legitimate stuff on it, like, there’s a folder called “My Crimes (I’m Definitely Donald Trump)” that seems a little suspicious, uh, just trust me on this one, OK?

— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) October 14, 2020