re: #71 jaunte

I want the Twilight Zone where as soon as Trump touches Vietnamese soil it’s 1968 and he’s a buck private.

— Schooley (@Rschooley) February 25, 2019

I can see it now: Thanks to his father’s influence, Pvt. Trump is assigned to a relatively quiet area. Quiet does not mean silent though. Seeing an opportunity to make some much needed cash, the local VC cadre arranges to have Trump abducted.

A demand for $250,000 ransom is then transmitted through the usual stooges who always manage to find a way to make themselves useful to both sides. Trump’s CO, Lt. Romney, dislikes Trump personally but considers it his duty to a fellow elitist to try to retrieve him. Romney contacts Fred Trump and the necessary cash arrives in short order.

Romney sets up the exchange. Unfortunately, he entrusts the job to a certain Pvt. Nugent, on the grounds that Nugent is useless for any other purpose and won’t be missed if things go wrong. On the way to the exchange, however, Nugent unwisely decides to make a stop at a kiddie house of ill repute that had been recommended to him by the last MP who had arrested him, a Captain Roy Moore. While there, Nugent is robbed of the money, his weapons, and his uniform. He is sent back in naked disgrace but otherwise unharmed, while the robbers display his feces-stained trousers as a trophy.

At this point, newly arrived theater commander Creighton Abrams learns of the affair and decides to intervene. He arranges to give the VC $250,000 worth of medical supplies on the sole condition that they keep Trump until the end of the war. Trump is finally released after 5 long years of captivity. He is feted as a national hero, and uses this status as a springboard to a television career.