re: #176 A Mom Anon

You know, all this strikes me as really odd. Beyond the usual and obvious. It seems like way too many men are overly concerned about what other men think. I understand that if you were a gay man, at least a little. But these dudes are heavily invested in being viewed as straight and super manly, so being so invested in what other men (and only men) think makes no sense. If you wanted to be seen as manly and attractive to women, wouldn’t you care more about what they think?

I keep telling my son that if he really wants a girlfriend and to be successful in dating and relationships he needs to ask the women he is friends with for advice, not the men. I doubt seriously he’s listening, but I keep hoping he’ll listen.

It’d be nice if this were the case. But that’s not the system that rewards men. As young men, we discover that the guys who act like this are treated with admiration by their peers, are desired by our female peers, and are validated constantly by the media we see and the cultural environment. Those at the top of that pecking order are the ones that our culture fawns over, men and women alike.

I mean, 63 million of us thought that the neediest bully among us should be king. Our culture does not reward considering the thoughts of women, humility, respect, or really many positive traits at all. And it’s not just men who subscribe to that culture.