re: #230 iceweasel

I think one of the problems with these discussions is the difficulty of expressing opinions that say something like what I’ve bolded, and those that slide into attitudes— or policies— that put the onus of preventing rape on women.

I remember my mother trying to explain this to my sister and I when we were young during the general sex talk and the no one touches you without you wanting it talk. She wanted us to know that we should be able to go anywhere and wear anything and that our choices did not mean that someone had the right to hurt us. But, we were her children and she didn’t want us to be assaulted and so she had to tell us to be careful, that certain decisions could put us in danger. It is hard to express both of these ideas, because part 2 gets awfully close to telling women and children they are at least partly responsible for what happens to them.

I believe it was at Shakesville where I first read, and it clicked, that a woman is raped for only one reason. She had the misfortune to be around a rapist. I repeat that to myself. Because having been assaulted? It was blaming myself that hurt the most.