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Samantha Bee: How to Cover Sexual Assault Allegations Against the President [VIDEO]

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Decatur Deb6/27/2019 12:40:18 pm PDT

The little ways things go to shit:

The bird feeders cause a squirrel population explosion.
Squirrels tear up the garden and chew their way through the soffits into the attic.
We win the Great Attic War. Bury the dead, armor the soffits.
I take down the feeders.
“Poor birds!!”
Wife moves feeder to the front yard.
Wife sees sizeable rat run from feeder to garage. Wife joins Anti-Wildlife Front.
Wife goes to kid’s birthday in Florida.
I find garage rat nest, kill 3 of 6 juveniles in hand-to-hand. Momma and 3 survive.
BIG traps set.
Bait gone. Clever girl!
I re-bait trap, getting full hit on two fingers.
Ice applied to fingers and site of new hip.
I type with one hand the sad tale of possible broken fingers.