Independence Day 2018

Anymouse 🌹🎃7/04/2018 7:59:08 pm PDT
Sid’s [Miller, Texas Ag Commissioner] latest crusade? BBQ joints. Sid, as the self-appointed arbiter of everything animal protein, has decided to defy state law and the governor’s directives to go after…wait for it…your neighborhood BBQ spot. That’s right, even though the state of Texas has exempted small BBQ places from paying big bucks to certify their scales to weigh BBQ, ol’ Jesus Shot Sid himself has decided that, uncharacteristically, he is the Righteous Protector of BBQ Consumers, prosecuting independent pitmasters over a bullshit rule that he invented for some unknown reason, beyond being able to put his name on some Texas state certification sticker. You do know that he’s printed stickers to put his name on every gas pump in Texas, right?

The only good news here is that Deep Fryer Sid is being opposed by an actual adult in the 2018 race. Kim Olson, retired Air Force officer, farmer, and Normal Person, is aggressively campaigning to retire him back to the ranch. We say, come on, Kim!

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