Oh hai Lizardim!
Last night Zedushka woke me up around midnight, saying “SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED!”

I was like OMG are the kids & grandkids all right, did my mother pass away, are the police here?

He was like “you know that bottle of Perrier you put in the fridge? Well it got frozen in the back of the fridge and exploded and there is green glass and Perrier slush everywhere.”

I was like “you woke me up for this?”

He was like “Can you clean it up?”

At that point I was ready to take the broken glass and put it in his shoes.