re: #265 Obdicut

Okay, so this is a new one on me.

A friend of mine has emailed me and told me that her husband beat her up, and that she’s now in a women’s shelter. She said she had two cracked ribs which were taped up at the hospital.

I dearly love my friend, however, she’s bi-polar and I’ve known her to lie about very, very serious things before, to go off her meds, and to start fights when she’s in a manic mode. Her boyfriend is someone I’ve met, showed no overt signs of being an asshole, and in fact had a long-ish conversation with me about how best to take care of her when she’s having an episode. However, it still very well may have happened— I’ve never known her to lie about the actions of others, just her own actions.

She hasn’t asked for anything directly, but I’m very concerned for my friend. If her boyfriend did beat her up, then obviously that’s a practical problem as well as an emotional one— they live together, so someone will have to retrieve her stuff and I’d be fine being the guy to do it. If he didn’t, then she’s deep in a manic episode and needs help.

I’m really unsure of what to do. I can’t just drop by on the shelter (they don’t allow men at all, which I think is wise) but I could meet her nearby. Her sister lives in town as well, but I don’t know if she’s told her.

My instincts are to tell the sister, and arrange to meet my friend with her sister and then the sister and I can confer after to see what we feel we can do.

Does anyone have any advice? My adrenaline is pumping a bit after this email and I don’t think I’m thinking that straight.

Obdi —this is a tough one. There is some strange useing/jealously thing that can happen when the spouse of one sex seeks comfort from a friend of the other sex. I’d stay out if it if I were you, honestly.

Or try to have a session with her therapist and see if the professional has any suggesstions.