Pulpit pimp panorama at Wonkette:

Look Younger And More Vibrant With Jesus Lady’s Plan To Cast Out Evil Spirits Of Death

Meet Katie Souza! She’s a kooky gal who supposedly led a life of crime and drugs and danger before becoming an evangelist. In a recent (okay, two weeks ago but I kept meaning to get to it!) episode of “Sid Roth’s ‘It’s Supernatural!,’ one of my favorite fundie talk shows on the YouTube because of how he reminds me of Kane from Poltergeist, Souza explained how one can stay young forever simply by banishing the Evil Spirit of Death” from their lives. Which means I have been spending way too much money on skincare products.

What is the Evil Spirit of Death? Let’s let Katie explain:

The spirit of death is active in the world at every moment, he’s putting death on people’s bodies, he’s causing rapid aging, he’s causing disease, disorder, he’s also killing off finances and marriages and relationships.

And Sid, honestly, I believe that when we transition to heaven as a born-again believer, that we just do that. We lay down at God’s appointed time and we just transition to our place in glory.

If the spirit of death is in the room at the time of our death, it usually means that we’re dying of a disease or something that was not the will of God.

Well that is just science.

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