Green Stream

Fat Bastard Vegetarian5/16/2011 7:20:20 am PDT

So, I’m putting up a light fixture in my kitchen. The instructions clearly say, “may require two people”. Well, I figured out how to make it a one person job… Until I’m holding up the end of the fixture, removing a cap bolt that holds the diffuser in place…

I drop the nut. Rolls across the floor… I’m on a two feet high stool…

From that position I had to figure out how to…

1. Hold the light in position (through each step)
2. Get off the stool.
3. Grab the broom.
4. Use the broom to sweep the nut back to me
5. Use my toes to pick up the nut, and sit it on the stool.
6. Bend over far enough to pick up the bolt.
7. Get back up on the stool.
8. Put the nut back on.
9. Smile with smug satisfaction that I got it done.

Then I noticed that while I was doing all that? The other end fell apart.

10. Frown.
11. Curse.