re: #1 sizzleRI

Ultimately it is society that needs to change. At this point I would feel better if not every single time a woman alleges sexual assault she is immediately suspected, essentially re victimized. This is why so many women never report rape. Who wants to go through it?

Exactly. (I’m supposed to be making dinner, so I’ll be around and about).
I think Jill makes some good points about the wingnutty media narrative on this. It’s worth remembering that marital rape wasn’t even a crime in all 50 states until 1986. Issues like this show that we don’t really take female autonomy seriously— access to a vagina once given can never be revoked, apparently.

re: #2 LudwigVanQuixote

I have never encountered myself or met anyone with a story about a woman changing her mind mid sex.

Even putting it this way buys into the wingnutty narrative: ‘changing her mind midway’. That isn’t the issue; the issues would be about consent being predicated upon condom usage, and about the right to say “Stop” during the act. Obviously these are things that happen all the time, whether you have encountered it or not.

Given how difficult it is to prosecute rape generally (as the post notes, many states still require force for nonconsent to be proven), it really isn’t a surprise that people are reluctant to come forward in these grey areas.

Besides “She changed her mind” has always been the rapist’s first line of defense, whether it’s an assault by a stranger or date rape — or marital rape.