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Santorum: Satan Is Systematically Destroying America

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Targetpractice2/16/2012 5:20:59 pm PST

Seriously, I look at Obama and I look at the GOP candidates and that age ol’ election question comes to mine: “Would you have a beer with this guy?”

Obama, I’d have no problem with. He seems like the kinda guy who would not look out of place at a sports bar, knocking back a couple while watching his favorite team on the big screen.

Newt makes me think of the sleazeball who shows up at the bar, acting like he’s God’s gift to women, and walking out with some drunk floozy at last call because he convinced her that she’ll be Wife #4.

Romney looks like he’d be uncomfortable stepping foot in a bar, let alone drinking a beer. Not the “den of ill repute” uncomfortable, but the “I’m surrounded by poor people!” sort of uncomfortable.

Santorum looks like he’d march into the bar in robes, preaching to the “wicked” about how they should turn away from their “sinful ways” and embrace God as their true savior…and promptly getting handed his ass before being thrown out the door.

And Crazy Uncle Ron…looks like the kinda guy who’d just bore people to death by trying to turn every conversation into yet another rant against the Fed. “Yes Ron, we know you hate the Fed, we’ve known for the last three hours.”