I keep checking to make sure this isn’t The Onion, or Raw Story getting duped by The Onion:
rawstory.com 9 year old kid gets suspended from a school in Kermit, TX for “terroristic threats” involving a magic ring. He seems to have threatened to disappear a classmate using his magic ring forged in Mt Doom. For this, he was suspended.
I love this quote from the kid’s father:

“I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence,” he added. “If he did, I’m sure he’d bring him right back.”

How can it be, in the US in 2015, that a father finds himself having to make this argument in defense of his son? Is Gohmert’s home town Kermit, TX, by any chance?

Anyway, thanks so much for this thread. You lizards have made my evening — much better to watch the Superbowl through your eyes than on the teevee machine.