re: #20 JordanRules

Usually, this is where we inform you that the suitcase full of panda meat will arrive in the mail…but we’re temporarily out of pandas. And suitcases. And—spoiler alert—sufficient scopolamine to transport your unwitting self to a dingy hut in Phuket. So we’re improv-ing on a budget.

So…the fallback hatbox full of lemurs will arrive in 2-5 days. Don’t worry about how exactly we’re going to drug you, but it would make the whole scenario easier if you just uncritically eat and drink everything even if it tastes slightly like numbness and the void of unconsciousness.

Sadly, we’ll only be able to abduct you to someplace within Norwegian Air’s special offer discount tickets. How do you feel about Reykjavik?