So I think we’ve a Stat Card:
Dorkus, Prince of Blogstalking
Armor: Impervious Ignorance (protects against most logic-based weapons, except for the Troll Hammer of Ludwig.
Stench of Booze: Dorkus may use this spell to rapidly consume large amounts of booze and enter a Violent Drunken State. During this state he emits a Stench with a 4-range Aura.
Any thread Dorkus spawns sock puppets on turns to Crap until the sockpuppets are removed. Stalker Trolls may use these sock puppets to spew hate and venom onto decent blog.
Staff of Enduring Butthurt: Does 2D6 damage to an adversary (reduced by hlaf with a save) but in inflicts 2 points of pain directly to Dorkus’s Butt. Dorkus may not discard this weapon.
Flaccid Flail of Fail: Inflicts 1D6-4 points of damage, but makes pathetic squeaking sounds.
Prince of Blogosphere Undeath: Anyone slain by the Ban Hammer of Charles, or the Wrench of Stinky may become a Wraith that whines alongside Dorkus.
Alignment: Chaotic Evil.