The Carnival thing was ridiculous. I know those people had a shitty time (*rimshot*) but the whole thing seems like fodder for stand-up comedians to me. A bunch of tourists go on some dumb cruise, and suddenly it turns into something designed by Satan himself - Fire! darkness! Poop flowing down the walls! DMV lines just to get something to eat! The boat smells! Welcome to the 17th century kids, how do you think your ancestors got here? LOL… High seas and a lot of puking would have capped it off. Or, maybe after all that, Carnival could have distributed oars and put a press gang on rudder duty to try and get home. Rig sails out of sheets, even.

Matt Damon told me how many people don’t have basic sanitation just the other day. The worst fallout from this is that poor Carnival will have to start offering low-cost cruises for drunk frat boys, or maybe mass suicide groups, promising a one-way trip with a long jump off the boat at the end for low, low prices…

Sorry, but the news bored me to death today with this stupid story.