LOL.

Apparently Romney Lost the All-Important ‘Slut Vote’

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But bskillet81, head of the Christian Men’s Defense Network, has an alternate theory that may be worth pursuing. In a piece called “What the Right Doesn’t Get About Elections” (currently set to private, along with the rest of his site — thankfully Google cache is “something God intended”) — bskillet81, apparently his party’s answer to Nate Silver even though his name sounds more like my friend from summer camp’s AOL screenname, knows the truth: the Democrats had a multi-pronged strategy that enabled them to get out the Slut Vote. Here’s how it worked:

1. Obama knew he needed those lady votes, and he knew, as does everyone, that most ladies are sluts.

Women make up about 54% of the electorate. It is very hard to win without winning that segment, or at least losing it only narrowly while winning men big. While the right usually wins married women, the fact is that married women constitute an ever-decreasing share of the female population. Women want to delay marriage as long as possible so they can “have it all,” and usually “have it all” means “have as much hot alpha sex as possible without any consequences.” And thus, less married women and more sluts (not that these two groups are mutually exclusive, per se)

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In conclusion, Romney was just too feminist to win the slut vote. Or, in bskillet81’s words:

However, this election cycle shows that the Slut Vote is real, and Republicans lose because they discount the existence of original sin in women. Abortion is often called the “third rail of American politics,” but in truth, the third rail is a woman’s right to slut (with cash and prizes).