I know you all are dying to know if I got the Emergency Alert text here in China.

Nope.

I have a T-mobile number, but it’s a pay-as-you-go account. That might be one reason, though I constantly get sales messages intended for the previous subscribers to this phone number.

It is a smartphone, but it’s made in China and only sold in China, so I presume it does not have the firmware required to receive and display the FEMA alerts.

If this were a real emergency, I’d be commenting from the afterlife.