re: #4 Pope Ron Polyp XXXVII

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?!

Chickens!

Well, see, “salt of the earth” people love to pit chickens against each other in bloody painful fights in which they are maimed and killed and God is all cool with that, in fact God comes to these chicken fights personally and blesses them and even puts down bets. It’s the way the world is because of sin, pain and blood you see, even childbirth is like that because of sin, but chicken fighting is still acceptable, see, because animals are just property and it’s OK to do anything you want with them, and it seems women are property too because the Bible says so, but every human sperm and egg is sacred, so what this salt of the earth young man is saying is that if they will just stop killing fetuses that have no chance to live, he will stop killing chickens for sport and will give them to those squeamish tree-hugging liberals who are for animal rights and against chicken fighting but for baby-killing to keep as pets.

Got it?