Greetings Earthlings. I come in peace.

Let us weep for our fellow Orange-Americans who must now struggle in hardship to pay the extra 90 pennies to The State in order to practice their Constitutionally protected right of The Tanning Bed and a year round tan unchained by the restraints of taxation on thine practice from the King.

From this day forward I proclaim to fight the King from within the ranks of our newly formed Tanning Bed Party and our fellow Erectile Dysfunction Party members and Teabaggers.