OK, sushi story. My father, once upon a time, was in the police academy. This was back in the mid-seventies. One day, the drill instructor is walking the line—stops in front of an Asian cadet.

“Well, Takomori,” he screams, “did you enjoy your rice wrapped in seaweed with an eel in the middle for breakfast this morning?”

(The man’s actual name has been lost to history, but for reasons that will become clear, the ‘rice wrapped in seaweed with an eel in the middle’ is believed to be word-for-word transmission.)

Like I said, it was the mid-seventies, California police departments were just starting to get minority recruits, and there was no such thing as sensitivity training. So Takomori screams back, expressionless, “Sir, yes sir! I did enjoy my rice wrapped in seaweed with an eel in the middle for breakfast this morning, sir!”

Instructor gives him a hard look, but moves on to the next recruit. “WHAT ABOUT YOU, JOHNSON?”

Without hesitation, Johnson screams back, “Sir, yes sir! I also enjoyed my rice wrapped in seaweed with an eel in the middle for breakfast this morning, SIR!”

You could hear faces creaking with the stress of not giggling all up and down the line.