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Stephen Colbert Analyzes the Testimony of Rick Gates in His Special Way: Confessions, Infidelity, and 'WTF'

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Blind Frog Belly White8/08/2018 12:30:12 pm PDT

Okay, a quick Dory Story….

I wake up this morning, and as usual Mrs. FBW and the dogs are already out in the living room. I come in, and Dory scampers to my feet where she crouches, practically vibrating with excitement. I pick her up and she’s frantic to lick my face and be held while her tail is going like a fan on a hot day.

A little later, the coffee having worked its magic, I head to the bathroom. After maybe 5-10 minutes, I come back, and Dory scampers to my feet where she crouches, practically vibrating with excitement. I pick her up and she’s frantic to lick my face and be held while her tail is going like a fan on a hot day.

A little later, and it’s time for a return trip. After maybe 5-10 minutes, I come back, and Dory scampers to my feet where she crouches, practically vibrating with excitement. I pick her up and she’s frantic to lick my face and be held while her tail is going like a fan on a hot day.

I go and take my shower and get ready to leave. I come back to the living room, and Dory scampers to my feet where she crouches, practically vibrating with excitement. I pick her up and she’s frantic to lick my face and be held while her tail is going like a fan on a hot day.

Each greeting was the same level of frantic enthusiasm. This puppy friggin’ LOVES me!! Take that, Mr. “I lifted my head off the bed, what more do you want?” Greyhound!