My doctor describes me as “ridiculously healthy”, but that’s age-adjusted. A string of non-lethal conditions keeps me in doctors’ waiting rooms all over the county. Today it’s another kidney stone adventure, thus my sunny mood.

An old friend, a Vietnam dustoff pilot, forwarded valuable self-diagnosis advice:

A simplified urine test that may be relevant for you!

Go outside and pee in the garden…..
If ants gather: Diabetes.
If you pee on your feet: Prostate.
If it smells like a barbecue: Cholesterol.
If, when you shake it, your wrist hurts: Osteoarthritis.
If you go back inside with your penis outside your pants: Alzheimers.